Eleanor Que
“So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.” (Gal 6:10)
Radical Hospitality has been the central mission for SJSM this year. While many of us may have faithfully recalibrated the postures of our hearts and embraced new initiatives, the sustainability of these endeavors is also an important consideration. How do we ensure that we don’t eventually lose steam in our pursuit of extending hospitality?
The short answer is this. The word “radical” may bring to mind grand gestures, but more often than not, hospitality begins with us obeying a quiet nudge from the Spirit to approach someone, or recognising divine appointments when opportunities arise. Sometimes hospitality is simply stepping in to fill the gaps where practical help is needed, and these small acts of service are no less significant or impactful.
The lives touched at SJSM’s Nursing Home are clear testaments to this.
Jack Suah, 57
Following an exhausting season of caring for his aging parents till they both passed on in 2021, Jack felt God call him to retirement. However, as he was wondering how he would occupy himself in this new season, the church introduced the nursing home befriender programme at one of the services. He was drawn to it, and felt that the past 10 years of caregiving challenges was part of God’s plan to equip him with the skills and empathy to be a befriender.
Jack signed up for the befriender training and wheelchair handling courses, and was subsequently assigned two nursing home residents who rarely had visitors. As a befriender, Jack’s role is to spend an hour per week chatting with them.
“This social engagement, albeit simple, can go a long way in making them feel valued, and meeting their social, emotional and even spiritual needs.”
As many nursing home residents have reduced mental capacities (with some suffering from various stages of dementia), befrienders have to exercise patience and creativity when engaging them. Jack often prayed for divine guidance to have meaningful interactions with the residents.
One particular encounter with Mr HB, one of his assigned residents, stuck with him. Prior to his admission to the nursing home, Mr HB suffered a stroke that left him physically impaired and non-verbal. While praying for him one day, Jack felt led to bring his tablet during his next visit for Mr HB to type out his thoughts. This way, they could have a two-way conversation. To his surprise, Mr HB communicated through the tablet that he had been experiencing sporadic shooting pains in his hand at night but could not inform the nurses. Jack immediately alerted the nursing staff to his situation and appropriate treatment was arranged to manage Mr HB’s pain.
This incident helped cement their friendship, which gave Jack the chance to introduce the Alpha Course to Mr HB. From then on, Mr HB would eagerly signal for Jack to play him an episode during every visit. Unfortunately, midway through the series, he contracted pneumonia suddenly and passed away.
Regardless, Jack felt very grateful to have been used by God to help Mr HB live out his final months more comfortably, and to share God’s love with him. He reiterates that there are many more like Mr HB residing at the nursing home who yearn for companionship and social interaction, and encourages more befrienders to step up.
“Each befriending session is only an hour long and may not be consequential to us, but to a resident who does not have any other visitors, the impact of our visits is way beyond our imagination.”
Esther, 50
Esther’s mother has been a resident at SJSM’s Nursing Home since she fractured her hip bone in July 2022. The nursing home was the top choice for Esther’s family due to the proximity to where they live and the opportunity to experience chaplaincy work and attend Mandarin services during her stay.
In May 2024, Esther’s aunt was admitted to a palliative ward. When Pastor Kim Chin (the chaplain in charge of her mother’s ward at the time) heard about this, she went the extra mile to set up a video call for them. Little did the family know, that would be the last contact between the sisters, as Esther’s aunt went home to the Lord two days after. With gratitude, Esther recalled that the call brought her mother the closure she had sought.
Esther also spoke appreciatively of Pastor Kim Chin’s supportive efforts to attend Mandarin/Hokkien sing-along sessions with her mother. “It’s such a joy to see her interacting with the patients with such authenticity. We really feel the love of God and the unity of the doctors, nurses and staff working together in this nursing home. We can rest knowing that Mum is in good hands.”
Kek Joo, 65
When Kek Joo needed to find a nursing home for her mother following her discharge from hospital, SJSM’s Nursing Home was her first choice. She was enamored by the vision of an intergenerational village – older nursing home residents and kids from the preschool interacting, with church members serving as volunteers. As her mother was a very sociable person prior to her dementia, she pegged SJSM Nursing Home as the ideal environment for her.
Unfortunately, there were no vacancies at the time. Kek Joo’s mother had to settle for another nursing home and given the COVID-19 restrictions and suspension of visitations, she had an exceptionally difficult time adjusting to the new environment.
Nonetheless, Kek Joo tried again and by God’s divine arrangement, there was eventually a spot open for her mother at SJSM’s Nursing Home. However, due to administrative lapses, the transfer process took longer than expected and the available bed was taken. Needless to say, Kek Joo was disappointed. She made a trip down to SJSM where she met senior medical social worker June, who was extremely sympathetic and understanding. She was surprised and touched when June offered to pray together with her for a patient to be discharged so that her Mum could take their place. Exactly a month later, there was a new spot freed up for her.
Even post-admission, Kek Joo has been continually moved by the kindness of SJSM’s Nursing Home staff, chaplaincy and volunteers. From small acts of thoughtfulness, like Krizza, the Senior Nurse, moving Kek Joo’s mother to a brighter spot because she remembered that she disliked dark spaces, to the genuine friendships established with Pastor Kim Chin, Reverend Dino, Gina (her Mum’s assigned befriender), Hannah, Chee Chun and Tea Terrace volunteers and befrienders, it is evident that SJSM’s Nursing Home is a place filled with warmth. She hopes that moving forward, it will continue to thrive with volunteers and caregivers working hand-in-hand to fully realise the vision of an intergenerational SJSM village.
“In the midst of the busyness, demands and pressures to meet KPIs, I hope that we won’t forget that each resident is special, unique and placed in the SJSM’s Nursing Home by God for this season of their life. Be blessed by making a difference in the last stage of someone’s life journey.”
Jeremy Lee, 50
Like Kek Joo, the idea of an intergenerational village appealed greatly to Jeremy. As Jeremy had plans to adopt children, having a single location where he can simultaneously visit his grandmother and pick his kids up was something he took into consideration.
Beyond the specialised medical care that his grandmother received, Jeremy noted the spiritual and emotional care that the nursing home staff poured into her life. Even though Jeremy’s grandmother suffers from dementia and is non-verbal, the volunteers at the weekly Tea Terrace sessions and Wednesday morning services have remembered, prayed for, and engaged her in conversations regardless.
“My grandmother may not be able to communicate her thoughts, but l know by looking at her expressions that she enjoyed these little interactions. The volunteers’ willing and cheerful dispositions while serving are examples of God’s unconditional love, and I am deeply appreciative of it.”
He hopes that with COVID-19 restrictions out of the way, intergenerational programmes can now be fully implemented, and achieve their intended objectives of decreasing social isolation for the elderly and improving social and emotional skills of the younger ones.